This week, the oddest DVD to appear on release lists is:
The messy mathematics of the ancient Mayan calendar give rise to z-grade horror nonsense in the unluckily titled, low-budget gore fest “13/13/13” (due out on DVD Tuesday).
According to the movie’s weird premise, humans have attempted to balance the calendar by adding an extra day every four years. “In doing so,” the prologue tells us, “they have violated the ancient Mayan calendar. Now, we are in the 13th month of the 13th year of the new millennium, and the few who survive will battle a world of demons.”
Those demons begin asserting themselves when a regular Joe named Jack (Trae Ireland) returns from a camping trip and finds the world gone mad. First, he encounters his wife Marcy (Calico Cooper) obsessively scratching all the skin from her arms. Then, his 12-year-old daughter Kendra (Tiffany Martinez) smashes a spider in her hand and eats it, begins swearing like a shore-leave sailor and engages in some seriously violent behavior.
Things so from bad to worse when Jack rushes his wife to the hospital and discovers the doctors, nurses and everyone else in sight transformed into blood-thirsty crazies. That’s the scenario that veteran low-grade horror director James Cullen Bressack employs to flesh out this absurdist horror effort that’s packed with goofy dialogue, hammy acting, buckets of fake blood and gore and loads of cheesy special effects. Fans of entertainingly awful movies of the “Sharknado” variety might get a chuckle or two from this aggressively lowbrow effort. But sometimes bad is just bad and unluckily for anyone seeking a few legitimate chills and thrills, “13/13/13” is just a luckless bore.
“13/13/13” is not rated and runs 90 minutes. It’s being released by The Asylum.
- Dennis King