Unexpected package fills recipient with wonder

Depending on whether you’re a glass-half-full or glass-half-empty type of person, nothing can brighten or ruin your day like receiving an unexpected package.

I’m in the half-full category, so when such an item showed up at my door recently, I instantly began to imagine all the wonderful things that might be inside.

Perhaps it was from a generous friend who was sending me some expensive jewelry as a belated birthday gift.

Perhaps I’d won some fabulous sweepstakes, and the package contained a $10 million check. (It could happen.)

Perhaps it held a dozen roses from Brad Pitt, who’d fallen out of love with Angelina Jolie and was now infatuated with me. (Stop laughing; it could happen.)

With great anticipation, therefore, I opened the package with a steak knife. As I cleared away the shipping peanuts, the first words I saw written on the contents were "5-Day Detox.” Below that and in a much larger, bolder font, was the word "BOWEL.” That’s when my happy glass started to leak a bit. I doubt the word "bowel” ever has figured into any of my optimistic hopes and dreams.

Further inspection led to a medicine bottle labeled "Intestinal Formula No. 1” and an even larger bottle labeled, surprisingly, "Intestinal Formula No. 2.”

My happy glass was now making a puddle on the floor.

The package also contained a book and, to really kick things off, a motivational DVD.

I checked the address label again. Sure enough, this delightful delivery was intended for me.

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