Debating can be unhealthy for a marriage

→Silence speaks volumes. When he says we should double our troop size in Iraq, don’t roll your eyes. Just listen. When she says we should open up the border between Mexico and the U.S., tilt your head and look interested. Saying nothing will preserve your love.

→Don’t air your laundry. When out with friends and the discussion turns political, it’s better to be a listener than to argue publicly. Try saying something such as, "Linda and I are on opposite sides of this issue, so we’re going to sit this one out.”

→Keep it civil. When political disagreements do erupt, pretend you’re on the college debate team. Listen as well as speak. Don’t raise your voice. Keep emotions neutral.

→You’re not married to your partner’s politics. If your mate’s political views make you burning mad, remember the reason you got together with this political foe to begin with. No doubt chemistry, intellect and common interests were more important at the time than which lever your partner pulls in the voting booth.

→R-E-S-P-E-C-T. His or her views are idiotic; you already know that. But we live in America, where everyone — even your beloved — is free to hold any belief without retribution. Have respect for your mate’s right to opine.

→Make it taboo. If you can agree to disagree with your partner, then you can make politics a taboo topic. Every healthy couple has tender topics they don’t discuss. It’s OK, particularly when the topic sparks bad feelings.

→Get a second TV. Make a pact to steer clear of politically based friction as much as possible. One way to do this is to watch the debates (and the election returns) in separate rooms.

SOURCE: Nicholas Aretakis, author of "Ditching Mr. Wrong: How to End a Bad Relationship and Find Mr. Right” (Next Stage Press, 2008), and host of www.DitchingMrWrong.com.