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Write your own story

Instead of looking to others to change their behavior, remedy a painful situation by looking inward and asking what you can do.
BY CHARLOTTE LANKARD For The Oklahoman Modified: July 29, 2013 at 4:24 pm •  Published: July 30, 2013

Consider this, if someone finds a sense of power by walking all over you, it will do no good to whine, complain, argue or tell the person how bad or thoughtless he or she is. Change will not happen until you get up off the floor and walk away — temporarily or permanently.

If you are in one of those times when you feel you are “living in chains,” take a look at your own behavior patterns. When someone continues to mistreat you, you must set aside the question of who is right and who is wrong, and instead notice how you are cooperating. The question to be answered is, “What else can I do?” That is when you can begin to write your own story.

Charlotte Lankard is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice. Contact her at