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You really may not know Jack if you don’t twitter

By David Zizzo Modified: April 30, 2009 at 9:23 am •  Published: April 30, 2009
Jack Bauer of "24” tweets:

→Testified before Congress. Got snatched by FBI. Uncovered big plot. Used a ballpoint pen as a handy weapon. Slow morning so far.

→Spotted wrong boots on an assassin. Good thing terrorists aren’t familiar with FBI-issue footwear. I’d kill for a mocha latte about now.

→The Counter Terrorist Unit: We do more before 9 a.m. than most covert ops agents do all season.

→Does anyone else hear ticking?

→Discovered a mole and gave him what he deserved. That’ll teach that rodent to mess with my petunias. Now, back to terrorist chasing.

→Turns out a guy I thought was working for US was really working for THEM. Did not see that coming.

→Did you know a soda bottle, some muriatic acid and aluminum foil make a cool bomb? I’d kill for some Cheetos and a Red Bull.

→Caught a woman on a bench by the Lincoln Memorial suspiciously jotting numbers. Confiscated her notes. What’s a sudoku?

→Forgot to feed the cat. Sorry Sprinkles. Or are you really Sprinkles?

→My analyst thinks paranoia is causing my anger management problems.