Young couples vowing to cut costs, find alternative ways to tie the knot
Young couples vowing to cut costs, find alternative ways to tie the knot

By Martha Irvine Comments 1
Published: September 17, 2008

SIOUX RAPIDS, Iowa — It wasn't your typical rehearsal dinner, but it was everything Liz Jones and Josh Dilworth hoped it would be — authentic, casual and relatively inexpensive to host.

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Illustration By Deaven Coggins, The Oklahoman

Guests by the dozens gathered in a barn on the Jones family farm for a simple picnic-style meal. Afterward, they played croquet, horseshoes and badminton, shadowed by towering grain silos and within earshot of lowing cattle.

When the sun set, they returned to the barn for an "open mic” that included guests guitar-playing, reciting poems and the bride's 5-year-old nephew singing "You Are My Sunshine.”

Her father also offered a little advice to the guests, many of them East Coast city folk from the groom's side of the family.

"If you're watching out here in the cornfield tonight and it gets a little later, you'll see some guys come out of there and ask, ‘Is this heaven?” Curt Jones said, grinning. "And you say, ‘No, it's Iowa.'”

Turns out, it was heaven, indeed, for a young couple looking to save some cash.

Why they chose Iowa

They might have have opted for a wedding in Austin, Texas, where Jones attends graduate school and Dilworth works in public relations. But while they'd been saving for a few years — with a working budget of $10,000 — they knew they'd get more for their money in northwestern Iowa, where she'd always enjoyed taking friends after she'd left home for college.

"It also meant we could say to people, ‘If you can get here, it'll be cheap for you while you're here,' ” Jones said.

She and Dilworth, both 28, married on a recent Sunday morning outside a state park lodge on the shores of West Okoboji Lake, just north of the farm. Renting the lodge for the entire day cost all of $200. Brunch for 130 guests, done by a local resident who caters on the side, was the staggering price of $11 per guest.

Looking for ways to save on wedding expenses is an increasingly common scenario for young couples, faced with hefty student loans, credit card debt, a tough job market and ever-increasing living expenses. Many couples are choosing lower-cost locations, as Jones and Dilworth did, or planning smaller "destination” weddings away from home for family and their closest friends.

Teddy Lenderman, an author and longtime wedding consultant in Terre Haute, Ind., has noted the growing concerns about wedding costs among her clients.

"We just work at compromising and spending those wedding bucks where we can get the most impact,” said Lenderman, author of "The Complete Idiot's Guide to a Perfect Wedding.”

Save with bartering, creativity

The average cost of a wedding is just under $29,000, according to the Wedding Report Inc., which tracks trends in the industry.

But these days, Lenderman says, couples are more likely to haggle with wedding vendors. Still others are buying wedding supplies from online discount merchants and other wholesalers. And couples are doing a lot more of the work themselves, with the help of family members and friends.

Susan von Seggern, a bride from Los Angeles who got married in July at her parents' home in suburban Rochester, N.Y., says she and her husband John had to cut costs because they are starting an organic gardening business together.

Their parents helped pay for the wedding. But they also found ways to save, including getting help from friends who did the wedding photography and her makeup and helped design her dress — all for free or at cost, as a wedding gift.

"I feel great about it. I saved money and involved the people I love in a meaningful way,” von Seggern says. "And really, when you are the bride and getting ready to walk down the aisle, you are so preoccupied you barely notice the details around you.”

There were friends and family who couldn't afford to come, some because of the high cost of airfare.

But once there, Zach Dilworth, the groom's 22-year-old brother, said he needed only "about 40 bucks” for the entire weekend.

"They've shown me that a wedding doesn't really have to be expensive — and it's still all there,” he said. "That's what Josh and Liz are about — using what you have. They're very resourceful.”