Share “Your Life: Don't waste a good crisis”

Your Life: Don't waste a good crisis

Charlotte Lankard: Following an emotional upheaval, it is common to feel depressed, anxious and distracted, and common to have good days followed by difficult ones — but two years?
BY CHARLOTTE LANKARD Modified: September 23, 2013 at 5:21 pm •  Published: September 24, 2013

If the experts are correct, this may be discouraging to you and to people around you because we are a generation that likes “quick fixes.” You've heard the phrases: “Time heals all wounds.” “Quit complaining — others have been through this and survived, and so will you.” “It could have been worse.” Or, as the popular song composed in 1936 by Jerome Kern says, “Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again.”

While many are in a hurry to move the process along, it doesn't pay to rush it because it is not just about recovery, it is also about rebuilding.

Learning to rebuild

First is the grieving of one's loss and gradually moving from the way it was to the way it is now.

Second, and what can be even more time consuming, is the process of restructuring your life and finding your “new normal.”

Don't waste a crisis. Learn from it. Make it useful.

Charlotte Lankard is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice. Email her at