Kevin Durant on the big screen, at a downtown arena near you? Works. Works very well.
Kevin Durant on the silver screen? Uh, let me think about that one.
The Thunder superstar is finalizing a deal to star in a major Warner Brothers film, according to our man Darnell Mayberry. I've got to say, I didn't see that coming.
Popular across the globe – get the Chinese subtitles ready – a Durant movie probably will sell. But my question for Hollywood is, what exactly do you do with Durant in a movie?
Russell Westbrook? Easy. A brooding James Dean plot should do the trick.
James Harden? Make him Grady in a film version of Sanford & Son, and away we go.
Scotty Brooks? Call in his pal Rumble, and you've got a Teen Wolf remake, with Rumble being the title character and Foreman Scotty handling the Michael J. Fox role.
Kendrick Perkins? Supervillain in the next Spiderman flick.
Thabo Sefolosha and Serge Ibaka? Some French love triangle, in which their friendship is threatened by a beautiful woman. Lots of anguish, lots of crying, lots of men asking why they ever let themselves get dragged to this movie.
Cole Aldrich? Sloth in Goonies 2 (what's taken so long!), reprising the role of another athlete, John Matuszak.
But Durant? I'm struggling.
I hope he doesn't play himself or someone like himself. That's no fun. Like Michael Jordan in “Space Jam.” Both Siskel and Ebert gave “Space Jam” thumbs up, but remember, they worked in Chicago, and this was 1996. Not exactly the time to be ripping Michael Jordan.
Julius Erving starred in “The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh,” which over the last 30 years has grown some cult following. Dr. J wasn't great but wasn't embarrassing.
Ray Allen drew solid reviews for playing Jesus Shuttlesworth in Spike Lee's “He Got Game.” If Durant signs on for a Spike Lee film, hold the projector. This might be something to see.
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar had that hilarious bit in “Airplane” but wasn't asked to carry an entire movie. Not with Leslie Nielsen around.
Mike Warren never played in the NBA, but he started at UCLA with Jabbar and starred in “Hill Street Blues,” the best cop show ever on television. If our man Durant can act anything close to Mike Warren, he's gold.
Mostly, when you ask basketball players to carry a movie, you get what you would get by asking actors to carry a basketball game. Shaq and Penny Hardaway starred in “Blue Chips,” which was mostly forgettable.
So what to do with Durant?
I assume he'll be a basketball player. Seems a little thin for NFL quarterback, a little tall for Kentucky Derby jockey.
Comedy or drama? I'd go drama. KD seems more sensitive than slapstick.
Love story or crime story? Crime, crime, crime. Kevin, trust me on this one. You don't want your teammates critiquing your romantic skills. Never again will the locker room be the same.
Protagonist or bad guy? The villain steals most shows – every Joker in every Batman movie; John Malkovich, Anthony Hopkins, the list is long – but I think we can all agree that this isn't about Durant's acting. It's about his image. Gotta play the good guy.
Reality or science fiction? It's not realistic for one of the world's greatest hoopsters to be one of the world's greatest actors, so just suspend belief. Go sci-fi.
Something off the Durantula theme would be cool. A basketball player who also is a Superhero. Part Spiderman, part Mr. Incredible, part anything you want him to be. Torn between two devotions: 1) truth, justice and the American way, and 2) leading his ballteam, preferably based in the good ol' OKC, to the championship.
Some arch-villain threatens society during the playoff stretch run. Oh the tangled web. Fans would flock to the theaters in Oklahoma. In Beijing, too.
Berry Tramel: Berry can be reached at (405) 760-8080 or at email@example.com. He can be heard Monday through Friday from 4:40-5:20 p.m. on The Sports Animal radio network, including AM-640 and FM-98.1. You can also view his personality page at newsok.com/berrytramel.