Oh, swell, Nebraska. So now you're leaving. That's just great.
Now that you're turning back into something resembling the Cornhuskers. Now that you seem capable of sharing the heavy lifting that Oklahoma and Texas have been doing for a decade.
Now that you're relevant again, off you go, away to the Big Ten after this season.
Should have left 10 years ago if this was all you were going to give the Big 12.
No conference titles in the 2000s. Two North Division championships. A decade of mostly-mediocre football.
And now that Bo Pelini is making you interesting again — not withstanding that dinosaur egg you laid last week against Texas — it's slam, bam, time to scram.
The Huskers play Saturday in Stillwater, and this will be Nebraska's last trip to Oklahoma for at least a decade. Joe Castiglione is talking about enticing the Huskers into a home-and-home series around 2021, to commemorate the 50-year anniversary of the Game of the Century.
I'm sure it will be fun 11 years from now. I'm sure we'll celebrate. I'm sure we'll reminisce about the grand olds days of the Big Red of the North.
But now, my affection and patience for Nebraska is not high.
The Huskers — administrators, fans, heck, maybe even the vaunted walkons — have spent 15 years stewing about Texas and its stranglehold on conference issues.
We know the feeling in Oklahoma. But the Sooners have discovered a great tonic. Just beat the Longhorns. That tends to solve a lot of money problems and political disagreements.
OU is 7-4 against Texas in the 2000s. Nebraska is 0-6.
No wonder the Corn hates the 'Horn.
But if Nebraska wants to find the No. 1 problem with Big 12 football, it doesn't need to look south of the Red. It needs to look in the mirror.
OU and Texas didn't have their act together when this conference formed in 1996, but it didn't take long. Mack Brown arrived in 1998, Bob Stoops in 1999, and suddenly the river rivals were poised for dominance.
Would have been a heck of a league had Nebraska not de-emphasized football.
Schools like Missouri and OSU and Texas Tech and Kansas State and Texas A&M and Kansas and Colorado kept taking turns, trying to challenge the Sooners and Longhorns, while Nebraska sat poolside and played pinochle.
Put the old Nebraska with the consistent excellence of the Sooners and Longhorns, and you've got yourself a conference that stands up to even the SEC.
Instead, Nebraska took the decade off. NU's conference record in the 2000s is 48-34. The Huskers have averaged 4.7 conference wins a year, playing in the Big 12 North.
No wonder Nebraska is headed for the Big Ten. If you can't beat 'em, leave 'em.
And maybe things will go smoother for the Huskers in the Big Ten, though if those Mike Leach-to-Minnesota rumors are true, Tom Osborne will have nowhere to hide from 21st-century football.
So it's one last Big 12 hurrah for the Huskers, who have been aligned with some of these schools since 1907.
The farewell tour stops off in Stillwater, a place they once owned.
OSU beat Nebraska the first two years the Cowboys were in the Big Eight. Then from 1962 through 1999, OSU went 0-35-1 against the Huskers.
In the 2000s, OSU is 3-1 against Nebraska. So even from the Cowboy perspective, the feeling is the same.
Now the Huskers leave? Just great.
Berry Tramel: Berry can be reached at (405) 760-8080 or at email@example.com. He can be heard Monday through Friday from 4:40-5:20 p.m. on The Sports Animal radio network, including AM-640 and FM-98.1. You can also view his personality page at newsok.com/berrytramel.